This blog is about how God is working through me presently and what our ministry will look like here in Costa Rica. 

I’m gonna be real and vulnerable. A value I hope to uphold while I continue blogging. When pursuing God, He reveals a lot of brokenness. That may sound scary, but when conviction comes, with Jesus it is an encouragement to continue to run towards the Father. To show us more and more how much we need Christ, and to be able to grow as we pursue Him. I really didn’t do well with conviction a short time ago. I would choose to take it more like condemnation or to just ignore it. I am choosing to see my greater brokenness as a gift to be able to work through it with God.

Performance. People pleaser. These are not my labels. My label is a son of God. These are just problems I deal with. The thought that what I do matters to God and others. Setting high standards on myself. Feeling like I need to put the world on my shoulders. 

While here in Costa Rica, God has placed me in a perfect ministry for these issues. That this is something He wants to work through with me. The ministry focuses on development. Not relief or rehabilitation. Not going to DO things. So often American culture’s tendency is to want and go do things and how much we do is how successful we are. Rather, in this ministry, it is to see the needs and support those that have the passions to change Costa Rica. To empower others. To not be an external source, but to rather enter in internally and support those who desire to live in their identity with Christ and make big changes. 

American culture likes to fix things right away. We like to see the results. The change. How much can we do in this time we are here? How many people can I feed? How many houses can I build? What numbers can I bring back to those back home to show them how much I did? It may make us feel good about what we did. This approach can sometimes be helpful, but in a lot of circumstances it can create a continued divide between us and those we serve. 

It is focusing on the process rather than the product. Creating lasting, eternal change. Yes, it might be hard to visually see the impact. People may look in on the outside and question your impact. Where are the numbers? What did you do? But I am realizing it is going through the process with God’s power that makes the true change. 

We aren’t the answer. Jesus is. We need to take a step back and ask God how He wants to use us. I realize that I was trying to go before God. I take on unnecessary burdens. That it is not my job to change someone's life. Who I follow is the testimony to where I’ve come, so I need to stop feeling like I have to be God to everyone. In this year, and in Costa Rica especially, I have felt the Lord speak fellowship over me. To be relationship oriented and not task oriented. To build lasting, impactful relationships that make powerful disciples for God’s kingdom. Receiving the blessings of discipleship in a way that I grow as much as those I serve. It is a long process, and doesn’t give us the satisfaction of immediate results. But God calls us into relationship with one another as His people. 

Enjoy my presence. God has spoken this over me. To simply enjoy His presence and His love with the people here. To not emphasize performance, but emphasize relationships. I am excited about choosing into fellowship. That I am not focusing myself on how many tasks I can do, but rather building impactful relationships that sparks change from those who have God-given gifts, talents, and abilities to make a lasting change in Costa Rica. To walk in the freedom of Christ and His loving grace. Christ doesn’t tell us we need to perform to be loved and saved, He calls us to have faith in Him. We are all broken. We all need saving. We are all unified under one name, our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I am not here in Costa Rica to perform, but to live in unity with the people here under the name of Jesus.

To God be all the glory and power forever and ever. Amen.

The ministry is focused around the book “When Helping Hurts.” The name of the ministry is Til He Returns if you would like to research it more. Thanks!