Brokeness and Honesty

Brokenness. If you’ve been raised in this world, when you hear the word brokenness a negative connotation most likely comes to mind. If something is broken, it is useless. Pointless. Purposeless. Brokenness can’t be a good thing, can it? That’s how I saw it. I didn’t want to be broken. Especially in my faith. If I hid it from myself and God well then everything could be rainbows and unicorns! Who doesn’t like that? An important lesson I have come to understand is that brokenness leads to greater faith. Addressing our brokenness and surrendering it to God is what helps us grow amidst the pain.

Why talk about brokenness in this blog? Well to be honest I have been in a rough patch with my faith at the moment. “What?? Did I read that right? He has struggles with faith? He’s not a very good Christian.” Sometimes I feel that others will perceive me in this way if I reveal my brokenness. Maybe you experience that too. No one goes around yelling out all their flaws. By nature we don’t like to show our weaknesses. 

That is where brokenness and honesty come into play. Honesty goes hand in hand with brokenness because brokenness is something we tend to hide. For example, as a kid when I kicked a hole in the wall at our house, do you think I hurried to my parents to tell them the discouraging news? Fat chance. I went on like life was normal until my parents somehow saw the huge empty void and assumed it was me. Shame on them, right? It could have definitely been my dog sleep walking, having a dream about a rabbit, and running through the wall. Point proven. 

In all seriousness though, I have become more accustomed to the reality that it doesn’t help anyone to be dishonest about our faith. Even yourself. Easier said than done, right! Almost everyone would say they agree to that statement, but so many of us fall short. I think there are people who look in on the church from the outside as some self righteous group of perfect beings that have Jesus in their life to tell them how good they are. And frankly, sometimes we can come off that way. People who feel broken don’t think they belong at church. That is why there is an importance in acknowledging our brokenness and being honest in our faith. 

As a Christian, I don’t follow Jesus because if I do my life becomes perfect and I will not face any more worries, fears, or challenges. Instead, being a Christian means that even through my worries, fears, and challenges, I can find joy in knowing that Jesus has died for my sins and has breathed new life into me. I am reborn! Knowing this allows me to understand the impact of what He has done for me and for me to choose to live for Him as best I can. And that doesn’t mean I always do. There are things I can improve upon. There are many parts of me that are broken! And I need my Bob the Builder (aka Jesus) to come in and fix me. 

But how common is it in the world today to not want Jesus to be the answer. Isn’t it crazy. It would be like if the things Bob the Builder wanted to fix told him “no, I’m better this way, to be honest I don’t want your help and I can make it on my own.” We get into this state of self-sufficiency, and that is when we lack the ability to surrender our brokenness to God. And the more we try to avoid brokenness, in turn, the more broken we become. That is why we also see so much hate in this world, because people who don’t accept that Jesus is the answer become victims to their brokenness. They close the door on Jesus and all the good He could bring to their life because they are afraid of addressing what’s broken or think something is wrong with them. It is important to understand that Jesus came for the sick, not the healthy! Jesus wants a relationship with you no matter how broken you feel, because He is greater than your sin! 

So what does surrendering look like? It is simply trusting in God while in the midst of pain. Discomfort and pain is not always a bad thing. We become more and more accustomed to hiding failure or avoiding it all together in society. Everyone gets a participation trophy, we don’t keep score, don’t you dare tell your grandma that. When we hide the pain, we hide the fact that we so desperately need Jesus.

I hope that this blog will get you to think about your brokenness more. Not because I’m writing this to point out your flaws, but to point out that we all have flaws. Once we become self aware of those flaws, that is when, with the power of God, real change can come. 

So my story right now. I’m struggling. I haven’t seen God much in my life recently and I feel that I am losing in my faith (not losing my faith, big difference). And this is hard for me to say because I don’t like talking about my flaws, my issues. But I also know that addressing brokenness inspires real change. God values that in us. Here are some verses to prove it.

Proverbs 11:3 

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.

Proverbs 19:1 

Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.

Philippians 4:8-9  

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you

So yes, I’m broken. Yes, I’m afraid of my brokenness. However, understanding that I am broken helps remind me why I so badly need Jesus. We all do.

Thank you so much to all of you for your support! Your prayers, your time, your donations. Your support means so much to me! Please reach out with any questions or to talk!

Song – Truth Be Told by Matthew West